Sometimes people just aren’t in the right place to be close to you, or there’s a personality clash that means they bring out the worst in you. Other times though, in the toxic case, that person just doesn’t want the best for you. Dealing with such people can be difficult and draining, to say the least. In fact, it may challenge what you know about yourself and push you to the limits. Here are 12 signs that can warn you of a potential toxic person.
1. They use intimidation or threats to get their way. If you feel you’ve been manipulated or bullied into making a choice or committing to an action that, on reflection, you feel is either wrong or benefits another at your expense, then it might be worth considering whether the person who pushed you into the situation is toxic. Their modus operandi is to get people to do what they want them to do. It’s all about them. They use other people to accomplish whatever their goal happens to be.
2. They get extremely jealous. Toxic people can get so jealous that they will try to control you in an unhealthy way. This one can be a little dull since not all boundaries are valid. Toxic individuals use ‘boundaries’ as a way to control, and then play the victim themselves once their ‘boundaries’ are crossed or disrespected.
3. They have a constant need to be the center of attention. It can be a great feeling to sometimes be the center of attention and have others admire you. But for someone who is toxic this is a constant need. Just like a drug, they crawl for attention to fill their emptiness and will do whatever it takes to get it. This includes interrupting even your most important conversations, or acting like drama queens so everyone switches their focus to them.
4. They never apologize. Even if they know they are wrong, toxic individuals will not say sorry. On the occasions they do apologize, it is usually a tactical move to manipulate you to give them what they want later. They feel that they are right by default, no matter the circumstances, and will twist the truth in order to appear right, or blame others.
5. They are always negative. Toxic people have a never-ending supply of negativity. Whether it be moaning about or judging others, a toxic person is always in the worst state of mind. In their heads, nothing is ever good. No matter how much you try to impress them, they have a way of pointing out the negative in everything. Being around such a negative person can really suck out all your energy.
6. They will always be right; you are always wrong. When a person in your life never takes ownership of their mistakes and insists that you are the one to blame all the time, then you’re likely dealing with a toxic person. They will go to extreme lengths to appear right, including twisting facts or challenging your memories. Toxic individuals are never willing to admit that they have made a mistake, misspoken, or miscalculated something. Rather, their feelings are projected onto you. If you try to point this out to them, they will likely vehemently defend their perspective, and take no responsibility for almost anything they do.
7. They share too much about themselves. They waste no time to disclose deeply personal information about themselves or even others. This is because they want to be approved of so badly. Once they sense that you disapprove of them, however, they will turn against you and any information they have on you will be used against you, or in future attempts to come off as the victim to others.
8. They are judgmental. They keep their eyes and ears open for criticism about you, what you’ve done, and what you didn’t do. It’s never about them, and they will lie if it serves them. Judgmental people have three common traits: They are overly critical, they show no respect for the person they criticize, and they justify what they say because they believe it is the truth.
.9. They are inconsistent. It’s hard to know who you’re with at any given time because they are often not the same person. They may change their perspective, attitude, and behavior depending on what they feel they need to accomplish or what they want to have happen. And they know how to be kind when they want something from you.
10. Toxic people are draining. Spending time with them will leave you emotionally wiped out. Time with them is about taking care of their business, which will leave you feeling frustrated and unfulfilled, if not angry. At first, you may feel for them and their plight but once you observe that every interaction is negatively charged you may want to limit your contact with them, or maybe even cut ties.
11. They make you prove yourself to them. Toxic people make you choose them over someone else, or something they want over something you want. Often, this turns into a “divide and conquer” dynamic in which the only choice is them, even to the point of requiring you to cut off other meaningful relationships or give up on your dreams to satisfy them.
12. They are not caring, supportive, or interested in what’s important to you. In fact, the good things that happen to you move your attention away from them and prevent you from focusing on their own goals. They hate that! Toxic people often make you want to fix them and their problems. They want you to feel sorry for them, and be responsible for what happens to them.
Like arsenic, toxic people will slowly kill you. They kill your positive spirit and play with your mind and emotions. The only cure is to let them go and stay as far away from them as possible.