Heeeeey. Happy new year everyone! I can’t believe it is 2021. I’m so happy that I’m writing down the first blog for this year. Before we get to the main topic, I would like to appreciate everyone who reads my blogs. Thank you so much. I just checked and we are almost hitting 10k at blog stats. My Facebook page also hit 7k likes! Well, I know this number is not big, but I also know that it wouldn’t be there without your support. Thank you so much. This year expect a lot of quality content from me. Enough of that, can we now dig up to the main topic??
Victim mentality is an acquired personality trait in which a person tends to recognize or consider themselves as a victim of the negative actions of others.
People with this mindset might feel: frustrated and angry with a world that seems against them, hopeless about their circumstances never changing, hurt when they believe loved ones don’t care. Below are some characteristics of people with Victim mentality.
1. They don’t take action or they just give up. They look for any reason why they’re not going to achieve their goal, they come up with excuses, and they give up before they even get started. If you aren’t willing to try, you will never succeed at anything! Failing is all part of the game.
2. They rely too much on other people. They always listen to other people’s advice on how they should be living their life instead of listening to their gut. They don’t take ownership of their own mistakes and blame others when things don’t go their way. By listening to others, you will never take control of your life.
3. They let their inner demons sabotage their life. They give up because they listen to the inner voice that always tells them they’re not good enough. Hence, they settle for mediocrity, just so they can feel safe. It’s time to shut off that inner critic and take life by the bullhorns!
4. They feel bitter and resentful for living like this. They always try to please others because they’re afraid of being alone. They don’t focus on truly working on themselves because they’re trying to live someone else’s life. And when it all falls apart, they end up blaming the unfairness of life because they don’t feel they’re in control of it. You will never find happiness if you keep trying to be someone you’re not.
5. They always come up with excuses for why things go wrong. They look for reasons for why things did not go their way while sabotaging their chances for success because they’re too afraid of looking like fools if they fail. They end up running away from trying anything new or approaching the person they have a crush on because they’re afraid of rejection. Needless to say, this leads to a downward spiral that is hard to escape from. But think about it: do you really want to look back on a life of missed opportunities one day?
6. They constantly work against their own interests. They look for comfort when they’re feeling bad about themselves, so they try to feel better by seeking short-term pleasures such as drugs, alcohol, video games, TV, and other time-wasting, self-defeating behaviors.
Look in the mirror and find a way to accept yourself for who you are. Life is too short for self-hatred and time-wasting attitudes.
7. It’s always somebody else’s fault. Their victim mentality causes them to always look for someone else to blame because they’re too afraid to take ownership of their own mistakes. You must cut that self-defeating behavior and accept that you are a flawed human being just like the rest of humanity. We all have our own crosses to carry.
How to Escape a “Victim Mentality”.
When things go wrong, it’s easy to feel like the odds are stacked against you. Suddenly, it’s you against the world, and you’re on a never-ending losing streak. I’ve certainly had my fair share of moments like this, where I couldn’t help but wonder why me? What did I do to deserve this? It felt like everything and everyone was out to get me, and it was easier to place the blame for my unfortunate circumstances on others, rather than own up to my own faults. So whether you or a loved one is struggling with a victim mentality, here are ways to overcome it.
1. Identify actionable ways to make improvements. The first step to taking real ownership of your life is identifying actionable methods to improve your circumstances. Have you or a friend been wallowing about how you’ll never find love? Instead of complaining to anyone who will listen and mocking wedding announcements on Facebook, make a list of ways you can make measurable, positive changes. Try a new dating app, or commit to 1-2 dates a month. Action leads to progress.
2. Take responsibility for your actions. This can be as simple as owning up to mistakes or incidents that put you in a bad situation. It’s important to know that acknowledging your culpability is a sign of strength, and not weakness. Blaming your friends or coworkers for your challenges will ultimately get you nowhere, and may cause you to lose important allies and sources of support along the way. Be mindful with how you talk about your problems, both to the people in your life and to yourself.
3. Change your narrative. We tell ourselves stories in order to live. But what happens when those stories are predicated on false narratives? You have the power to change your own personal story. Every time you feel compelled to place blame on someone else for your challenges, take a moment to flip the script and focus on things you can change.
4. Learn how to say no. The key to getting over victim mentality is recognizing you have the power to run your own life. Rather than simmering with resentment because you keep taking on thankless tasks at work, sit down with your boss and explain why the requests are difficult and determine ways to improve the situation. Sometimes simply saying no goes a long way to improving your mindset.
5. Treat yourself with kindness. Take time to recognize the role you play in your own challenges, seek forgiveness in yourself, and treat yourself to something that makes you feel good like a long run, a bubble bath or cooking your favorite dinner. When you’re blaming the universe and life for your suffering, you’re not actually attending to your suffering or helping yourself feel better. By claiming the victim role, you are intensifying your pain.
Do you feel I have left out on some points? Let me know in the comment section. For more inquiries reach me through info@sammyquen.com. Follow me on social media here. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube
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