Nairobi’s ‘Funny’ Night Life


When I requested for Uber, earlier today, the available driver was unusually very close, (1 minute away). That was strange, because I’m used to waiting for more than 10mins. So, on my way to church, the driver decided to give me an account of events, up to when he got the request from me 🙃.

(As told by my uber driver)

Amos* (not his real name) is driving to Ngong from Nairobi CBD at 3 a.m. Inside his car is a couple, a lady in her mid thirties, and a young lad. They are both drunk, talking and acting romantic, uncontrollably, as Amos drives quietly. From the conversation, he discovers that the lady is married, and the young lad is a student. Their plan is to spend a better part of the day before the husband gets back, later this evening.

He arrives at their destination, pulls over into a big mansion, and drops his clients. After paying, the two love birds stagger together into the house, and Amos drives away. Not so long thereafter, he receives a request from Brew Bistro and Lounge, a lady there wants to be taken home, Greatwall apartments in Athiriver.

The client insists that he drives a bit fast. Why? Because she needs to catch a little sleep before going to church. She is supposed to be in church at 10am. She is young and beautiful (he described her as extremely beautiful). There is not much talking on their way, just basic chatting; married? No. Dating? No. Children? Yes, one child.

“Men of today are disappointing.” She says.

“Why?” Amos wonders.

“Huyo msee ananileta kwa club, anakunywa na anazima” She says.

“You left him there?” Amos asks.

“Yeah, let him be responsible first. I just met him jana for the first time.” She adds.

Amos drops his client in Greatwall apartments and drives back to the main highway back to Nairobi CBD.

He get a request, the client had been dropped in Cabanus by a Nairobi bound coach. He picks him and drives to Muthaiga.

His client is quiet and busy with his phone, so there is not much talking. After dropping him off, he drives to Roasters and packs outside Mountain mall.

Another request comes in. Three ladies are in Quiver, they want to be driven to Mwihoko. He picks them, 3 beautiful young ladies, dressed in mini-skirts (he described them as ‘almost naked’)

“Ni watoto kabisa ata ukiwaangalia, wanakaa kama wako high-school”, he adds.

Two sat at the back, and one at the passenger seat. Amos notices they are not on good terms. They are talking at each other angrily.

“So you wanted to leave me?” One is asking

“Sisi tuliona mumeenda room tukadhani hamtoki. Tungejua aje?”. Another one replied.

“Na wewe bona ulipigia boy wangu simu, na ulisikia nikimwabia sifeel poa?” Another asked.

“Ona huyu, ata hujali unaenda kulala na watu hujui? You are disgusting sitawahi enda mahali na wewe.” Another one replied.

“Hio ni shinda yako?”

The confrontation went on, until it was evident to him that two of the three girls had slept with strangers over the night.

“Nimesikia vibaya sana, felt like kusimamisha gari niwatandike, but hii ni job tu. You know I have a teenage daughter. It is painful,” Amos says. He was furious.

After dropping them hapo mwihoko, he put Eastleigh, mtaa yake, kama destination then akachill akifikiria zile vitu amejionea usiku. That is when my request came in.

“Bro, wewe enda church na uombee hii generation yenu. Things are not okay. Uombe sana,” He said as he dropped me pale Huruma RGC.


Heeey, before you go away, check on My Adventure in Lake Chala and Lake Jipe here.

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Ooouh, about me?? I am basically me, a travel enthusiast and a photographer. I also sing and play the guitar, and piano too. Writing is my early morning cup of tea. My mission is to inform, inspire and entertain. Welcome to my world.

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